While working on a presentation for my first job out of graduate school, I came across a quote that has stuck with me: 

It was accompanied by a pretty graphic of a flower and not attributed to any particular speaker or work of writing. 

This quote struck me. Despite its simplicity, it carries a deep and powerful message.

The Comfort Zone Message

We tend to stay in our comfort zones because they are familiar and predictable. However, if you really think about it, it may be a misnomer. That is because a comfort zone is not necessarily comfortable. It is simply what you are used to. 

For some, a comfort zone includes depressive episodes, avoiding leaving the house for fear of a panic attack, or enduring unhealthy relationship dynamics. None of those things are particularly comfortable but can absolutely be something we’ve become accustomed to even if it is painful.

Making Change

Making change is hard. Going outside of a comfort zone would require change. Change requires extra energy because doing something new involves considering and practicing new ways of thinking, communicating, and reacting. Something unfamiliar can be really scary. I’m sure you can think of lots of times in your life where you were nervous or intimidated because you didn’t know what to expect. And not knowing sometimes leads us to predict that the outcome will be worse than it is.

Growing Pains

Now, don’t get me wrong - doing something new or different can come with different pain points and it won’t always go exactly the way you want it to. Even when that happens, I’ll venture to bet that you learn something about yourself, the situation or the process that will help you the next time. Maybe you learn you don’t particularly like that experience and choose to pick a different one next time. Maybe you learn that you can do harder things than you imagined and it pushes you to do even more next time.

Does it Have to Be All or Nothing?

Getting outside of a comfort zone doesn’t have to be an all or nothing experience. You can absolutely make a small change and test the waters. A great way to start small is to determine the smallest amount of time you are willing to be in a situation outside of your comfort zone and commit to doing that, without allowing yourself to end the experience early even if you are feeling anxious about it, and do it. Of course, this comes with the caveat that you are safe. I really just mean not allow the feeling of anxiety to be the reason you leave early. Anxiety is not an unsafe sensation, it is an uncomfortable sensation. And by sticking with something even though you are experiencing anxiety, you learn that you can actually do things you want to do but often avoid because of your anxiety.

Help is Available

It can be really hard to work through this on your own. I bet you can come up with a laundry list of things you’d like to do if your fear or anxiety wasn’t holding your back. But after you make that list, you may just stare at it and feel defeated. Like it would be impossible to actually make any progress toward it. After all, where do you start? And do you feel like you have the support or coping resources to face it if you were to start trying new things? 

If that is where you are at, I encourage you to reach out. Or if you feel like you need more information to make a decision, check out what services I offer for Anxiety Management. As someone who has been there, and put myself into all kinds of intimidating situations and come out on the other side feeling stronger (even if it isn’t always pretty) - I love to help other people do the same. If you’re ready to get started, I’m ready to help! 

Summary / TL;DR

Stepping out of your comfort zone, though challenging, is essential for personal growth. While familiar routines might feel safe, they often hold us back from new experiences and self-improvement. Start small by committing to short periods of discomfort, especially when anxiety is involved. By pushing past fear, you can discover new strengths and capabilities. If you’re ready to tackle what's holding you back, reach out for support and guidance.