The Power of Curiosity
What is Curiosity?
Curiosity is a powerful thing. According to Merriam-Webster, it is defined simply as a desire to know. This definition captures the essence of what curiosity is: a natural human drive to seek out new information and experiences. It is the driving force behind exploration, discovery, and innovation. It is what motivates us to learn new things, solve problems, and connect with others.
When learning new things, curiosity motivates us to ask questions, explore, and experiment. It drives us to think outside the box and generate creative solutions to our problems. It can lead to great achievements, insights, and possibilities we never knew existed.
Relationally, curiosity is a gift. It allows us to be open to new perspectives and therefore can foster deeper connections with other people in our lives. I can often be found saying to a client or even a friend, “let’s get curious about that,” prompting an exploratory conversation about a particular topic.
Why is Curiosity So Important?
The ability to be curious is a valuable asset in both personal and professional areas of life. It can lead to learning and personal growth. With a curious mindset, you can identify opportunities or generate ideas that you may not have otherwise considered. You can also see situations or conflicts in new ways, which can help you approach them differently.
Cultivating a curious perspective can lead to learning and growth. It also fosters a sense of humility, meaning you can acknowledge that you don't know everything. When we assume we have all the information, we can have blind spots. We may overestimate our abilities or knowledge, which can lead to making choices we ultimately regret or that create tension and conflict with others.
When we choose to be curious about something, we open ourselves up to new information and possibilities. We are willing to be surprised, corrected, or inspired by something in ways we didn't anticipate before.
Curiosity Matters.
Have you ever found yourself upset with someone else because you interpreted something they did negatively, only to find out later it was not at all what you thought?
For example, perhaps you got mad at your partner because they forgot to take out the trash. Now, you could approach your partner with annoyance and blame. If you do, your partner will likely get defensive and the conversation will escalate. On the other hand, you could approach your partner with curiosity and sincerely ask: What happened? Now the conversation is open to many branching paths. You might find out the person totally forgot or you might discover they weren’t feeling well OR they got totally wrapped up in an excellent book they were reading and couldn’t put it down. Maybe you learn they are feeling resentful. They feel like they are always the one to take out the trash and they passive aggressively decided to take a stand.
Whatever the reasoning is, you learn something about your partner and what is going on for them. That opens up a whole world of other conversations or opportunities for problem solving (ex. Is it time to reconsider the distribution of responsibilities in the household?) that would have never been uncovered otherwise.
Tips for How to Cultivate Curiosity:
Ask questions. One way to approach situations with curiosity is to ask a lot of questions, particularly open-ended questions. When we assume we know the answers or motivations already, we don’t ask as many questions. So even if you think you know how someone will respond - ask anyway. It could start a conversation you never knew you needed to have.
Be genuine. If you ask questions but come across passive aggressive or presumptuous - it won’t go well. Really try to embody the perspective of open mindedness when you gather information in a curious way.
Purposefully seek out new things. It can be beneficial to be exposed to things outside of your comfort zone. For example, if you typically read magazines and articles about travel and leisure, perhaps pursue a periodical focused on mechanics. You don’t have to purchase a 12-issue subscription, but taking a peek at something you don’t usually see can broaden your perspectives and add value to your understanding of the world around you. The same can be said for books, foods, podcasts, and movies.
It doesn’t need to happen all the time.
There may be times when you don’t particularly want to be curious about something or someone. It may be a toxic or unhealthy relationship where the person has not earned the right of benefit of the doubt from you. That’s okay. You don’t have to engage curiously when it feels unsafe.
A lot of this is really about perspective taking. Trying to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and wondering what the world might look like through another lens. Cultivating curiosity is just that - something you develop and work on over time. It is a muscle you can strengthen. It takes practice and may not always be easy or a default reaction for you; however, if you choose to practice it, it can truly benefit you in all aspects of your life.
Summary/TL;DR
Curiosity can transform both personal growth and relationships by encouraging open communication and deeper understanding. By asking thoughtful, open-ended questions and seeking new perspectives, you can foster stronger connections. Curiosity helps you stay open-minded, improving conflict resolution and allowing for greater insight. Practice cultivating curiosity, and remember, it’s okay to pause when it feels unsafe or inauthentic to be curious.